Happiness doesn’t come easy for me; I wonder if this is what I should be striving for in my life? Is happiness really the ultimate goal in life or is it more about being content in how one is living, what one is doing to make our small world, where we live, a better place?  I’m not always sure.

My life has been devoted to helping others, whether it’s been through my various jobs, friendships, assisting family members. 

There have been times when I’ve felt burnt out. These are times in which I have to make life changes or risk falling into depression. These are times when I have to be more internal, more focused on myself and what I need. These are times when I have to focus more on a higher power and connectedness to others. I know this, but it is so easy to fall away from these things, thinking that I can do it all on my own.

God is very important to me in my daily life. I often ask God to watch over family members and friends, but I also need to ask more for myself. I need to feel that daily connection to be calm and feel that everything will be OK, that I can be content in knowing that what I’m doing does make a difference. On some level, I try to take comfort in knowing that I’m here on this planet only temporarily, engaged in learning as many life lessons as possible and that God is by my side.

Relationships with others is extremely important to me as well. As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that I treasure relationships that are full of warmth and deep connection. I’m realizing more that the superficial nature of life—owing to how fast paced I and others live—doesn’t serve me well. The need to look at my phone and respond immediately to others takes away from my being fully present. This also takes me away from focusing on more spiritual truths.

As I go back to my original question, I’m still not sure about happiness. It does get talked about  a lot in our culture—there is the worldwide happiness index, a world happiness day. For many people on earth happiness is probably more of a myth than anything else. Maybe for me it is more about feeling content in my connections, spiritual, as well as with friends, family, and others that I’m able to engage with during my lifetime.